Okay. It’s been a while since I’ve written anything in my blog. It’s because I always want to be positive and share wonderful news about this wonderful life here in wonderful Costa Rica. I’m grateful to be here. I love the people, the geography, the finca where I live, the little village, the transportation system, the colors, the feelings. All of those things. But for the past 4-6 weeks I’ve been really depressed. I’m in that predictable place all the expate sites explain as “What The Hell Have I Done???”
So… I was euphoric, excited, fascinated and delighted with myself for four months. A bit longer than the prediction template. A nice long vacation.
But now I’m actually living here with all the same questions about life, perceived constraints and bitches I had in my life before I arrived here in Costa Rica.
I’m not on vacation anymore.
Many people get to this place and acquiese, settle, compromise, and end up bitching alot for a year or longer before moving back to what they were wanting to escape from. Knowing this trough is a predictable phase of a move of this nature, and having seen the many descriptions of folks that have both moved back, or stayed the course and worked out a fantastic and happy life in this new home, helps. It offers perspective and some intellectual and emotional viability and support during this adjustment.
What I am realizing is that I need to do the work within networks of people to discover ways of being creative, ways to interact with more locals… and, dread the thought, learn Spanish, so I CAN converse with others and not feel so incredibly isolated, nay I say, vulnerable.
What a lesson to learn! What a realization to occur! That in order to be happy I need to Captain my destiny instead of react to life.
Thank God for Mike Dooley and tut.com!