The Trough

Okay. It’s been a while since I’ve written anything in my blog. It’s because I always want to be positive and share wonderful news about this wonderful life here in wonderful Costa Rica. I’m grateful to be here. I love the people, the geography, the finca where I live, the little village, the transportation system, the colors, the feelings. All of those things. But for the past 4-6 weeks I’ve been really depressed. I’m in that predictable place all the expate sites explain as “What The Hell Have I Done???

So… I was euphoric, excited, fascinated and delighted with myself for four months. A bit longer than the prediction template. A nice long vacation.

But now I’m actually living here with all the same questions about life, perceived constraints and bitches I had in my life before I arrived here in Costa Rica.

I’m not on vacation anymore.

Many people get to this place and acquiese, settle, compromise, and end up bitching alot for a year or longer before moving back to what they were wanting to escape from. Knowing this trough is a predictable phase of a move of this nature, and having seen the many descriptions of folks that have both moved back, or stayed the course and worked out a fantastic and happy life in this new home, helps. It offers perspective and some intellectual and emotional viability and support during this adjustment.

What I am realizing is that I need to do the work within networks of people to discover ways of being creative, ways to interact with more locals… and, dread the thought, learn Spanish, so I CAN converse with others and not feel so incredibly isolated, nay I say, vulnerable.

What a lesson to learn! What a realization to occur! That in order to be happy I need to Captain my destiny instead of react to life.

Thank God for Mike Dooley and tut.com!

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9 responses »

  1. Yes, it does make you feel vulnerable when you have to rely on English speakers for contact…for everything. No way are you going to get to grips with what goes on in your new life without the language.
    But don’t agonise about having to have perfect Spanish before you can speak to people. When I was struggling with French in France a good French friend said that in language terms I was a woman with no past and no future….but I got hrough because people had patience with me…as they do here.
    Muddle along as best you can and listen to what people say to you in return…the right word will be there!
    The positive thing is that you’ve analysed the situation and know what you need to do….the ‘return ticket bitchers’ never get that far!

  2. No matter where we go, no matter what we are doing, we are always with ourselves and we take “it” with us….always! A good lesson to learn.
    When I moved to Minnesota from Oregon I thought my life would be new, exciting and refreshed and it certainly was, for a time. Then the old things, started to creep in and show themselves to me. I realized it was me that could make me happy.
    You will learn what you need to know as you go. Way to share Niki, love this blog. M

    • You know it’s so true! Until I’ve lived this kind of transition, though, it just didn’t sink in. Step by step I’m getting more grounded and relaxed. All will come with time… my main problem is that I want it all to happen NOW! Thanks for your insights, Mary!

  3. Aww, i feel for ya. Is it true, do you think, in any big life transition we face these? I am so amazined at all you’ve accomplished, and mostly by yourself. I think that feels like the hardest part – you can’t just go for happy hour and whine with some buddies! So, feel free to whine in email!

  4. I always wonder why I am here and what I am here for. Sometimes I can keep busy enough not to notice this usual question , but somehow it is always there. We are here for people, never for ourselves. Meeting people and connecting is where it is at.

  5. This is a great adventure you are on! Wherever it leads you will be perfect. You are so brave. Love your observations and insights.

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